I drove 27 hours to be where I am today. That’s 1,879.4 miles. I did not ever question or look back because I knew God was calling me to do this.
People from California would tell me: Why would you want to go there? You’re going to get shot and die because you’re yellow.
People from Mississippi would tell me: Why in the world would you come here from LOS ANGELES. Isn’t California aamammmazing??
Why did I leave everything I had to come here?
I felt an unnegotiable pull to the school here because of the violin program. It was perfectly designed for me so that I could grow. It was a nest that God had prepared for me after years of complaining and grumbling at my previous school.
Studying the violin made me extremely uncomfortable. I somehow knew for certain that I would not have a job when I graduate. This anxiety caused me to change my major three times. I thought I let go of this mentality with my new identity in Christ; however, the inner devil still lived inside of me.
I had a Plan B all along.
“If I don’t get into a grads school, I’ll just try for law school cause girl’s gotta eat,” I would catch myself saying to others.
I’ve always wanted to help people in a logical manner. It was something I have been passionate about since high school by participation of debate and mock trial. I would pursue my Plan B little bits at a time while I learn how to hold the bow correctly.
The truth is, this connects to my lack of trust in God. I did not trust that God would provide a way for me. I could not let go of my Plan B because I somehow knew better than God. However, God doesn’t want me to pursue my Plan B. He wants me to pursue Plan A.
This isn’t to say that if I ever do end up in a different field, it was my back-up plan. I think if that happens, that meant that God planted a new passion in my heart for me to follow. All I know is that God doesn’t want me to live a Plan B kind of life. He wants me to trust and thrive in Him and in Him only.
And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6